I just got done reading my previous journal entrys from the beginning of the year. I've come to realize how aweful I write and how immature I really sound, but dispite that it was really sad looking back through all those. I miss all my friends from High school, I never really get to see them any more. I hope everyone is doing alright. a lot has happened sense then I guess you could say...but anyways.. life goes on.

As of now i'm enjoying my week off from work, while recovering from surgery. I'm doing pretty good but still a little sore. I can't wait til I can start working out again. I'm getting so out of shape. I'm glad to get it all behind me its been a long process.

I'm also going out to CO to visit with Ryan for the weekend. That should be fun. I've never actually been to CO before. It will be nice to see him again, its been months.

as of today: Watched pride and prejustice. (I think thats how you spell it.) Probably not something everyone would want to watch but I enjoyed it... probably one of my favorites and I fixed my computers internet. It hasn't worked in the longest time. I'm still waiting on bellsouth to send me the wireless adaptor for the downstairs computer so I can set that one up. I can't say I've done anything else today. I guess you could say i'm being a bum. but thats what happens when you have surgery... you can't do to much.

Well, It looks like i might start writing in my journal again. But ya'll can disregard everything I've written before. I was reading it today and realized how immature I sound. Although I really don't feel like writting to much right now, I think I might go watch a movie. I'll update later. You might just get a couple quotes and or poetry too.

"The worst pain in the world is knowing that he meant everything to you but you meant nothing to him. But, life goes on once you realize your own strength inside of you: the strength to realize that saying goodbye doesn't mean that you don't love the person anymore or that you don't want to keep them in your life. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means that you've the strength to let go and live your life to the fullest because you've learned that life really is good. You are strong and can only be as happy as you choose."
Source Unknown

"..contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they dont see it nearly enough..."
Article in Oprah magazine

"Everynight I pray, I'll have you here someday.
I'll count the stars tonight, and hope with all my might;
That when I close my eyes, you'll be right by my side."
The Wonders

Ok... Here is everything that is going on, Its making me pretty angry. Jake has been spreading some really bad rumers about me...trying to make everyone believe that I am a ho or something. He's telling everyone I did stuff with him that I didn't do. It is really really gettting to me, I'm very angry with him. Everyone at church knows and everyone one at union grove high knows. He been telling everyone one and the thing is its not even true. He totally turned something into a lie. It is really bad! I can't believe some one would tell everyone this stuff... which I won't even go into details. But its bad, its stuff I never even happened. Lucky everyone knows he is a lier and I've talked to several people and they believe me over him... thankfully. The funny thing is he has done this in the past to other girls. What is he thinking? He can't be in his right mind. I am going to have to see him at church tomorrow I was wondering if i should kick him in the balls, break his nose, and just plain beat the crap out of him ... and totally embaress him in front of his friends. Now that would be just to funny. Well something is going to happen tomorrow... dont know what but its going to be bad. I just hope I am anry enough tomorrow to do it and have enough guts. I got to do something I'm not going to let him get away with this.

Besides all that life is going well, I had my first day at work, Can't say I don't like making money plus I get to tan for free so I am going to go in before work thursday and tan. And the work isn't to bad, don't mind it a bit, I think i am catching on to it.

Winter break ski trip... It was great one of the best times I have ever had. We skiied for 3 days. I got to do some great stuff, we went off trail a good bit and skiied the black diomonds. I did it all. The snowboard park was awesome, they had some really nice jumps. I did it a couple times got some good air. I never fell! yay! I made some new friends too. tyler and jake. We skiied with them a good bit. I acted really crazy. I fell on mallory one time while skiing because we were all pretended to be beginner skiiers and my friend who was snowboarding got mallory and I really tangled up bad and I ended up on her head and well I farted on her. She was just about to die. Tyler got a kick out of it. I hated that we had to leave I wanted to stay a little bit more. I wish I lived in the mountains so I could do that all the time. Maybe I'll end up moving out west or something. The bus ride back was real short. Jake let me sit by him.  ::edited for content::  We had fun! haha.

Yesterday we had a big family get together at buckners with like bunch of ppl that we were related to but don't really know. We ended up going to my uncles house. You wouldn't believe it but he just bought a new 2003 hummer... yellow of course. We got to go ride around in it for awhile. It was so awesome. thats my next car...jk. whew we rolled the windows down and turned the radio up real laud. It was so dang cool! I was on top of the world. The hummer used to belong to micheal vick before my uncle bought it. and its all pimped out and everything and Ken said that I could take it to prom, I'm so excited.

At church today I went to eat with the 10th grade class. We ate the mexican restaurant. afterwards Cam, Mallory and I went to charles house to hang out for a bit. We called and got Jake to come over for a bit.  auw he's so cool, I think we are dating now.. We really haven't put a name on yet. lol. He's a little bit younger than me but thats cool. I like him, he's got this whole like punk thing going on, which hehe I really dig. He's so crazy! I have a lot of fun around him. I probably won't be able to see him til this wednesday... so sad. I think everyone in our family kind of got hooked up at this ski trip, Its totally crazy.

crazy thing of the day: we were driving by this house that had like a bunch of pink flamingo's out in the front yard and I was like, "I GOT TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE" so we ended up sprinting for them in the front yard and then took off in my car. I don't believe anyone saw us. It was so funny I can't believe We did that. It was just so random.. man if u hang out with me u never know what is going to happen! then the guys poked holes on it and tryed to put in on the front of my car on the hood. Then Jake ends up throwing it out of my care while we were driving down the road. I couldn't believe it. haha. I SLAMED on brakes I wanted him to get out and get it but I couldn't make him do it. I am just such a bad influence.. i mean stealing a pink flamingo.. haha I think next I'll take a garden knowm or something.

Charles ended up going back with us to our grandparents house to eat with us. He played my grandfathers guitar...sometimes I wish I knew how maybe someday someone will teach me how to play.

I finally got a job and I'll be working at the tanning bed. I'm so excited. I start working or aka training this tuesday. and plus I will be able to tan for free yay! but I have to get in bed now cause I have class tomorrow at 8 and then art at 1 and then work out. so i really have a busy day. bye bye now!